


lonely

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Gen, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 17:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20439518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: #7





	lonely

**Author's Note:**

> !warning ! v triggering!  
my last work didn't really keep me happy for long  
so ill guess ill write some more

When they see your cuts, what do you say. The only thing I've ever heard from those terrible websites and Youtube videos is, "The cat scratched me."  
That wouldn't really work for me. Since I don't have a cat. He ran away one night, we assumed he died somewhere. He was old, so it seemed reasonable. I was cutting when he was still with us. But, he lived out of the house. He stayed in one room, the sunroom. And if he wasn't there, he was outside. We only saw him to feed and water him, sometimes to lay in the sunroom. He was an angry cat, very mean. Sometimes you could go up and pet him. Other times, you would need to stay away. He's bit us all at some point. Scratched us up enough to draw blood. But I didn't really care for the cat, so I always avoided him. I only ever went to the sunroom to get to the backyard. So even when he was here, I wasn't with him.

So I have no cover up stories. That's why I hide. I always stayed on my thighs. But then my family found out. But the goods news is they're ignorant about self-harm. So they assumed I was just cutting my thighs. Of course, I moved. I started with the chest. I tried my ribs too, and my shoulders. Right where my bra straps would sit. So, even if they did check, there would be a chance they wouldn't get to see. And so it was done! They thought I was getting better. They left me alone.

Alone. Something I always am, and put myself into, but not something I really want. I was the one to tell my friends, and then my cousin. I needed them to know. I just didn't expect so many to know, so suddenly! First my friends, then my friends' family, then my cousin, then my cousin's family, then my family, then my doctor, then some of my Mom's friends, then my counselor. I can only ask myself, why did I tell anyone in the first place? I didn't want everyone surrounding me to know. This isn't what I expected, and not what I wanted. 

I've relapsed. Now I'm slowly integrating back to my old ways. And I feel as though I can't say anything to anyone. I'm alone, back in my misery. Alone, because I tried not to be. Guess it's just how it's supposed to be then. I am alone.

Now, because I don't want to fall back in this pit... 

I write here, because I just want somebody, anybody. If I am truly alone, the only thing I have is writing. So, I am here.


End file.
